50 Ways to Get Kicked Out of Konoha
by Kayah
Summary: 333 Ways to Get Kicked Out of WalMart', Konoha style!
1. 1 through 8

**Here's a slightly pointless story for all of you wonderful readers. I'm having a bit of trouble coming up with a plot for my other story, so I wrote this!  
I got inspired by reading "333 Ways to Get Kicked Out Of HQ". It'll mainly be the Rookie 9 plus team Gai, but there will be random appearances of others, too. And there will probably be Naruto Abridged references here and there. (This chapter is for DarkCrimsonShadowBlossom!)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything!!  
**

**

* * *

  
**

**_Try on superhero costumes and walk calmly around town._**

No one noticed any difference when Gai dressed up as the Green Lantern. But when he made Neji dress up like Superman… things got ugly.

**_Randomly hug someone and yell, "I love you mommy!"_**

Kiba had to go into rehab for a month after calling Sasuke his 'mommy'. Poor Akamaru was mentally scarred by the whole experience.

**_Set up a dancing competition_**

Let's just say that they don't call him Gaara of the Funk for nothing.

**_Run through town singing, "I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES!!"_**

Naruto broke his own record for 'Most Attempts to be Killed in 24 Hours'. The last one was 47 assassination attempts, but this time Sakura lost count after 78.

_**Go up to some old geezer and say, "Grandpa! You're alive! It's a miracle!!"**_

Kakashi went on a full-on rant that his hair was silver _not_ grey. He then went to the closest pharmacy and bought a tub of anti-aging cream.

_**Go up to an ANBU and in an official tone say, "Code 3 at the Hokage Tower" and see what happens.**_

After watching two ANBU almost trip over their own feet while sprinting towards the Hokage Tower, Shikamaru and Chouji got cleaning duty the whole week. Chouji didn't get to eat any barbecue either, and Shikamaru was muttering about how 'troublesome' it was.

**_Throw a fake rubber snake into some lady's face and watch her freak out._**

Shino was labeled as 'the next Orochimaru'. He even got his sunglasses confiscated.

**_Walk up to Ichiraku Ramen and ask for pizza._**

Naruto never talked to Hinata again after she said that she wanted pizza _instead_ of ramen. The shy girl was devastated yet impressed at Naruto's devotion to ramen.

* * *

**Well, tell me what you think! :) Reviews are always nice!**


	2. 9 though 12

**Hey! Thanks for all the reviews! **

**Here's the next few, even though it's shorter than the first one :)**

Disclaimer:: I don't own anything!

* * *

**Go to the undergarments section and ask random people if they think this will fit.**

Poor Jiraiya was brutally hurled out of the nearest window by a very ticked-off Tsunade.

** Run around in front of a mirror screaming, "COPYCAT!!"**

That was how Kakashi really got the nickname 'Copy Ninja'.

**  
Stand in front of someone and pretend to die (dramatically).**

Pein walked away from a seemingly dead Tobi while muttering, "What is this, Death Note?"

**  
Bring a Slip 'n' Slide, blast some music, and bring some random people to it. Kick their back so they slide across the Slip 'n' Slide and scream, "PARTY IN THE HOUSE!!"**

Half of Konoha's population was complaining of backaches for the next week. Strangely enough, Shino – who still hadn't gotten his sunglasses back – was the person behind what would later be called 'the Slip 'n' Slide incident'. No one ever let him near chocolate again.


	3. 13 through 21

**Hi all! Thanks for all of the reviews, faves, and subscriptions, it means a lot!  
Well, here's the next few ways to get kicked out of Konoha.  
**

* * *

**_Tape a walkie-talkie to the back of a Barbie and say to random people, "I know where you live…"_**

Anko had expected to scare some of the younger kids, but was _really_ surprised when Sasuke actually screamed. Like a little girl.

**_While walking alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation._**

Lee was recruited to Konoha's council after having an impressive debate with the air… and winning.

**_Make evil eyes at someone and start whispering, "I'm the little girl from the well… I've been waiting…"_**

Orochimaru got kicked out of the Akatsuki after scaring Sasori half to death.

**_Announce in a demonic voice, "I MUST FIND A MORE SUITABLE HOST BODY."_**

People weren't sure if it was the Kyuubi talking or if Naruto had finally lost it. But there were sure that they didn't want to stick around to find out.

**_Stare up at the sky. See how many people look up._**

Shikamaru almost had a heart attack when he saw how many people were cloud-gazing along with him.

**_Look at someone with wide eyes saying, "I see dead people!"_**

Hidan was not amused.

**_Stand by a door and when people walk through throw fries above their head like they're getting married._**

Naruto was admitted to the hospital after some shuriken 'accidentally' got mixed in with the fries.

**_Walk up to random people and ask for an autograph._**

Jiraiya struck a pose and signed Asuma's forehead with a _permanent marker_.

**_Talk to an ANBU a whole twenty minutes about unicorns._**

Itachi snapped and killed his whole family after Kakashi told him that unicorns really didn't exist. He only spared Sasuke because they had told him the exact same lie.

* * *

**Tell me what you think! Are there any characters that you'd like to see here? Just let me know and I'll try to include them. Thanks for reading!**


	4. 22 through 30

**Thanks for all of the reviews, and late happy Easter! Read on…**

**Disclaimer:: I don't own Naruto or Skittles.**

**

* * *

  
**

_**Walk around town biting people who smell good.**_

Chouji was beaten half to death after he told Ino that she tasted like pork.

_**Breakdance.**_

Yondaime + breakdancing = the real reason for the Third Shinobi World War.

_**Run around in circles until you fall down.**_

To defy his caged-bird destiny, Neji tried to fly away. He soon discovered that running in circles didn't help him take off. It just made him dizzy

_**Sing loudly and badly. Or better yet, try to rap.**_

Gaara was soon given the title 'Da Ganksta Panda'.

_**Throw Skittles at people while yelling, "Feel the rainbow!!"**_

Lee sure felt it after throwing one too many skittles at Tenten. Felt a fist in his face, that is.

_**Walk up to people and start laughing. Then walk away like nothing happened.**_

Shino's no-sunglasses sentence was lengthened. He wasn't allowed near any sources of caffeine, either.

_**Jump in a cart and have a friend push you around while yelling, "The Akatsuki are coming! The Akatsuki are coming!"**_

Tobi stopped after Deidara hit him and told him that _they_ were the Akatsuki.

_**Walk up to someone and whisper, "I know your little secret."**_

Kakashi dropped Icha Icha Paradise and screamed, "NO! It wasn't me, I swear! I wasn't the one that put Riddlin in Naruto's ramen!! _Oh,_ hehehe…"

_**Build a fort with plushies.**_

Kiba couldn't find Akamaru for two days after he got lost in the fort. It didn't help that all of the plushies looked exactly like him.

* * *

**Tell me what you think, and I'll do requests too. Credit for the first 'way to get kicked out' goes to Tobi is a BADASS, thanks for the suggestion! By the way, Riddlin is basically a drug for people that have ADHD.**


	5. 31 through 40

**Hey! One left 'till the end! A HUGE thank you for all of the reviewers, subscribers, and favers. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer:: I don't own anything. Obviously.  
**

**

* * *

  
**

_**Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to other people.**_

Temari stared at her younger brother and said, "Eh, Kankuro, you should stick with the other puppets…"

_**Call out a group hung and enforce it.**_

Tobi ended up with burns, scythe marks, mental damage from Tsukuyomi, and almost got eaten by Zetsu. The swirly-masked Akatsuki member never hugged again.

_**Let three pigs loose with the numbers 1, 2, or 4 painted on their backs.**_

Naruto thought Tonton was the third pig, but figured out that he was wrong after Tsunade threw a number of empty sake bottles at him.

_**Smash the person in front of you in the head with a ham.**_

Chouji was pleasantly surprised when Shikamaru smashed his head with a chunk of ham. Shikamaru was less-than-pleasantly surprised when Chouji punched him through a wall for not giving him the ham.

_**Secretly put decaf in the coffee maker. After three weeks, switch to espresso.**_

All of Konoha experienced an energy boost that put Naruto's hyperactive tendencies to shame after three weeks of having no energy at all. It was even stranger that Jiraiya was giggling and muttering something about how well his plan had worked. No one ever knew _what_ exactly that plan was.

_**Five days in advance, tell your students that you won't be able to attend training because you have a migraine.**_

"Kakashi-sensei, you liar!!" Was the only thing heard before a certain silver-haired jounin ran down the street, chased by one-hundred angry Narutos.

_**Take someone's bag and switch the items with stuff from another person's bag.**_

Asuma was shocked - to say the least - when he opened his travel bag and found that it was full of instant ramen.

_**Scream, "LOOK AT THAT!!" See how many people look in the direction that you're pointing.**_

About twenty people turned to look at Itachi, who was drinking an especially delicious cup of evil tea.

_**Challenge others to duels with tubes of gift wrap.**_

Gaara was forever changed on the inside after being defeated by Naruto in a gift wrap battle. He was also changed on the outside because of the giant bow stuck on his head.

_**Pretend to be a ROOT member.**_

Sakura almost died when she saw _two_ Sai's waiting to train.

* * *

Suggestions? Requests? Criticism? Anything else? Drop me a review!

By the way… virtual cookies for whoever spotted the Naruto Abridged reference.


	6. 41 through 50

**Ta-da! It's the last one! Once again, a huge thank you to everyone for their support; I never thought that many people would actually like this. I hope you enjoy this last chapter of 50 Ways To Get Kicked Out Of Konoha!**

**I don't own anything…**

**

* * *

**

_**Grab a can of whipped cream and find a bald guy. Spray it on his head.**_

Not finding anyone that was bald, Kiba shaved off Neji's hair while he was asleep and _then_ sprayed whipped cream on his head. Neji was NOT happy.

_**Attempt to drown in a kiddie pool…**_

Hidan had a great time watching Kisame flail around in three inches of water.

_**TP as much of the town as possible.**_

After killing his family, Itachi went ahead and TP'd the Uchiha complex. That was his true crime.

_**Run around singing Queen's We Will Rock You.**_

Lee mostly got odd looks from people, but only he and Gai actually got the pun.

_**Beat your chest and run around screaming like Tarzan.**_

Jiraiya was from then on known as the Ape Sannin.

_**Randomly throw things into neighboring apartments.**_

Naruto got hit in the head by the newest copy of Icha Icha Paradise, and then Kakashi came in through his window to take the book back.

"Sensei! If you're gonna hit me with it, at least let me read it!"

"No."

_**Ride around in a Barbie jeep with a Barbie in the front seat. Act like you're talking to her and say, "Let's bust this joint!"  
**_After his first defeat, Orochimaru came back to invade Konoha with an army of Barbie dolls. Both sides took great losses; but in the end, the Barbies' high heels were their own downfall.

_**Hold a bag of frozen veggies and shout, "Fear me and my evil army of frozen carrots!"**_

Once again, Orochimaru was defeated. The upside was that the carrots did wonders for his complexion.

_**Go into the bathroom that is of the opposite gender as your self and open the stalls saying, "Ooh la la!**_

Konan was _not_ happy. After she finished beating him up, neither was Deidara.

_**Go around town giving gifts to everyone you see. Don't let them give it back.**_

Naruto got a teapot, Sasuke got an oven mitt, Sakura got a ski mask, Chouji got broccoli, Shikamaru got a motivational poster, Ino got a wrapped up – not to mention furious – Sasuke, Hinata got a golf club, Kiba got a flea collar, and Shino got… sunglasses!

* * *

**Well, that's it! Thank you for reading! :D**


End file.
